Pole Dancing and Songs I Sing While Biking

Fridge on Back of Bicyclist

I definitely should try this method of carrying my lunch to work while biking...


After Wednesday’s run, my legs were feeling too much like lead pipes for my comfort level, so I’ve stuck to biking for yesterday & today. With my ride home tonight, I’ll top out the week’s bike mileage at 110 for M-F. Add to that last Sunday’s 12 and tomorrow’s ~14 to/from my pole dancing class and you’ll have–Uhh, excuse me? Did I just type the words “pole dancing class?!” Well, hot damn I did!

That’s right, yours truly will be partaking in her first pole dancing fitness class tomorrow afternoon at SuperShag Dance Studios in Charlestown (there’s no better name for that place…hahahaha). Last spring, on a whim, I purchased a Living Social deal for a 4-week introductory pole dancing class because, let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to shake what their mamma gave them in the name of fitness let alone writhe around on a pole and NOT be required to remove articles of clothing!? Anyone? Bueller? Am I alone in my quest to take pole dancing by storm?

Eh, you win some, you lose some.

I’ll be sure to provide a full re-cap of my Beginner Pole Fitness Level 1 class that “is designed for first-time pole dancing students to learn the basics in an encouraging atmosphere. Students will learn basic spins, dance moves, and climbing techniques,” so stay tuned. This ought to be quite interesting and hopefully will help with my Operation 6-Pack efforts at the very least.

And in terms of weekly mileage, we’ll be looking at ~146 or so for the calendar week.


Who is seriously this stupid?!


For me, biking for  45-50 minutes 2 times per day is a glorious escape from the hum-drum of the normal work day and the Massholios’ epic displays of stupidity during rush hour. It’s also a time for singing because I tend to save my deep thinking for running (we’re talking Whirled Peas here, people; Whirled Peas).

Being the safe bicyclist I am, I never ride with headphones in and therefore have plenty of time to sing to myself as I pedal along. Every now and then, a few lucky passerby have the opportunity to actually hear me sing out loud as I sometimes forget that I’m not alone on the bike path/street (poor bastards). My favorite “singing” exercise is to create my own lyrics for recognizable tunes. Here are my best “songs” yet:

For when the Massholios drive a bit too close for comfort (to the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree): 

Oh, ding-dong heads
Oh, ding-dong heads
However stuuuuupid
you all are.

You try to hiiiiit
me with your car.
And squash me liiiiike
a bug in tar.

Oh, ding-dong heads
Oh, ding-dong heads
However stuuuuupid
you all are.

For when I’m climbing up a big hill thinking about the glorious glide back down (to the tune of Love in an Elevator by Aerosmith):

Gotta get my ass in high gear (Oh)
Gotta get my legs movin’ (Oh yeah)
I’m gonna take this hill by storm(Oh)
And ensure these feet are groovin’

Gotta get my timin’ right(Oh)
It’s a test that I gotta pass (Oh yeah)
I’ll chase you all the way to Summit, masshole
And you can kiss my little ass!

Love on a hybrid bike
Lovin it up when I’m goin down
Love on a hybrid bike
Livin’ it up while I tear through town

For when there’s something in my shoe and I’m too stubborn to stop & take it out (to the tune of The Farmer in the Dell):

There’s something in my shoe
There’s something in my shoe
Oh, how I really wish
There wasn’t something in my shoe

For when I’ve seen a target on some Massholio’s bumper and feel the need to race them (not an original song–yet):

Burn, baby, burn
DISCO inferrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!



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